The Seceret To Fishing: Fish where the fish are.

Today was our first ice fishing trip of the season. We woke up early and headed out to Lake Winnipeg with my Uncle in his Nissan Murano (definitely not a off roading vehicle by any stretch). Navigating our way through the mess of cracks and pressure ridges proved hard in the bland horizon and the gray clouds that produced a heavy but fluffy snow fall. We didn't catch many, I only caught one and it was far from a keeper while my dad caught three keepers. Finding the fish on a lake the size of Lake Winnipeg proved to be harder today. As you can see from the picture there is a seemingly endless amount of lake to fish.
Even though we didn't catch many and ended up coming home early I still loved going out to the lake and spending time in the peaceful snowfall.
Ah Winter.

Ignorant?

Some time ago I had a conversation with a friend, they are not a close friend by any stretch or even a good friend of mine, they are someone that I talk to on a not so regular basis. We were talking about church and this was something they said about the church as a whole...

"Church is a place where you go just to listen to the pastor try to force their beliefs down your throat..."

They went on to say..

"Church is just a place where people try to make you believe what they do, and think exactly the same way they think..."

This statement seemed ignorant and misinformed to me.
I find the church to be a place where I am encouraged to dig deep, to come to my own conclusions, my own beliefs and way of thinking.

But, maybe I am the ignorant one.

Movin' Up!

So I am just beginning the third week at my new job of basement construction and I really like it so far. For the first time in a long time I actually feel motivated to drag my self out of bed. Even though I am far from being a valuable employee at the moment, ( In other words I suck at the job, For now.) I really enjoy the work. It is definitely not always the easiest work for me, it’s very physical and usually lots of physical activity is hard for a fat guy with out much time to refuel. I still feel motivated to keep at it. Another plus is I feel like I am doing something useful with myself. I have made a lot of goals recently, some I probably have no business in trying to complete, but I hope that with the money I save from this job I can begin to fulfill some of the goals I have made.


I guess you can say “I’m movin’ up!”

A New Challenge.

I recently received a letter; well it was through email but a letter nonetheless. It was a letter that, in a way, wrapped up my summer on the ministry team and also gave some suggestions from folks at camp and also fellow team members; the people that spent the whole summer with me, on somethings I could work. To read something that suggests what I could improve on has never been easy for me. I usually like to deny it or I just get pissy and start talking down about myself, even when I see it coming. Either way, it’s not healthy. This time while I read through the letter I made sure to keep my feelings and emotions in check. After finishing, I was neither in a state of denial or in a pissy mood. I took it positively, though it was still a tough realization; I was encouraged to work on the things mentioned. I see it as a chance to allow God to work in me and my life; something I have been slightly reluctant or hesitant to. I hope this is a maturing and a shaping time for me.

Shine on.

What to do with all this time...

The sod season has been over for about a month now(for me anyway) and I am currently between jobs, that is the nice way to put “I’m a jobless bum that lazes around home all day.” I have applied at some places with unsuccessful results. In all honesty I should be applying at way more places than I have been, but my thinking is if I’m trying to find a job that I actually keep for a while I would rather it be something that I enjoy and not something I dread. I would sooner make less money doing something I find fun than making lots of money and dreading the work I do. For now, I will keep looking for jobs I may enjoy doing and hope I score huge and find one.
Anyway, in my time at home I usually find myself alone, after all everyone else in my family is doing something productive with themselves, in all this time I aim to be productive. This is not usually the case. I will admit that between practicing my drumming and maybe taking the pooch for a stroll I usually find myself filling my time with mindless unproductive activities. But with all this time I have managed to get some thinking down, it may not sound all that productive to others because my thinking isn’t helping with anything, but my thinking isn’t always centered around what show is on next, or how stupid that person’s status update is on Facebook, or whose CD I should buy next (a Tom Petty cd is a strong candidate though). Instead, I have found myself thinking about my faith and what I believe about Christianity. So many times I have found myself in a place of struggling with what I actually believe.
My faith is something I have been struggling with and questioning for a very long time. I have not been questioning whether or not I am a Christian or if I believe in God, but I question what I believe about it, just like everyone else. I fought through this during high school. I was being exposed to many VERY different teachings, teachings from school, home, church and friends. I found my self in a place of confusion. I didn’t know where I stood in all this, what I agreed with and what I did not.
I still have questions and plenty of them. Though I still have a lot of questions and I am still struggling through seemingly endless junk, I honestly believe that I have matured in my faith, though to some it may look like I have almost taken a step backwards. I still do not have a strong feeling of where I stand or what I believe about faith but I am excited to continue digging and learning new things about Christianity and about myself.

This is a pretty vague and general post of what I am feeling like, but it is as specific as I am going to be for now.

Remembrance Day? What's that?

Is Remembrance Day actually mean something to people anymore? Or is it just a day off and all your favorite stores open a bit later?

Haza for a change of season!

Halloween has been over for a bit now and I can’t even explain how thankful I am for that. Oh how I loathe that time of year. Some of the “decorations” that people think of are just disgusting, or just so ridiculous I want to be a juvenile delinquent that mutilates the set-up with a carefully chosen tool of destruction. But now it is over, and already the gear has been shifted to Christmas. Christmas on the other hand is a holiday I used to be neutral to, but now sit in a somewhat antsy anticipation for its arrival. I love that time of year so much. I love the thought of being with family, smiling faces, the act of giving, and who doesn’t like receiving a hilarious or clever gift? I find it a bit odd that I am already thinking about Christmas when we are missing the most important part, snow. But the store set-ups and all my new snow gear has me anxiously waiting for the first snow fall, and the holidays and the first trip out onto the lake for some ice fishing. Ah it is truly wonderful.

I had to chuckle

I had to chuckle at myself today while working. While I was driving the tractor today disking a field at the farm I past by my friend driving the other tractor (who is disking the same field), as I looked over in his direction I saw him giving me some hand signals. Hand signals are our way of communicating in the tractors. Somehow we figure out with the other person is trying to say while they flail their hands and push their face to the window and slowly mouth a sentence. I have to chuckle at myself, to the untrained eye, it may look like the two of us have a slight clue as to what we are doing. But if an experienced person were to watch, they would see that we, in fact, have no clue what we are doing. I’m just glad for the patience of my cousin and uncle.

My mind is wanderin...

These days my mind can’t help but wander, while I work I am always thinking of other things. The other day tempers were high at the farm. It’s been a pretty crappy summer for my uncle and cousin because of the rain and they are running out of harvest worthy sod. Piling was stressful that day, and while I was standing on the back of a tractor piling sod that was less then desirable my mind began to wander back to summer. I miss my summer experience; I miss the good times with friends. I miss the time spent with family. The last time the whole family had a day together was back in July when we spent the day in Wasagaming. I haven’t seen much of my family these days. I only see them when I come home late at night to shower and rest for another early morning. I don’t get to see much of friends anymore. Last time I hung out with friends was 2 weeks ago. My mind wanders most when I am mowing the fields, long hours alone in a tractor and my mind gets to dreaming. With all this time to think and all this time alone has brought me into a state of dissatisfaction… Damn…

Autumn

Fall is here, and not much has changed for me. It seems as if I never leave the sod farm, only to come home for a short nights sleep then back to work I go. It seems I don’t get to see much of my family or closest friends anymore. I am constantly sitting in a tractor or standing on the back of one. It has been like this since the end of August, working in the heat of the day and returning home late at night.

There is one thing that is different from August, the cool, crisp fall air has come and settled in. It feels as if in one quick night I went from wearing shorts and a t-shirt to thick jeans, work boots, sweaters, toques and anything else I can find for some warmth. Harvesting has slowed down a bit over the past week so I’m usually sitting in a tractor mowing the fields. For once I don’t mind being out at the farm. I don’t enjoy sitting in the same spot for long hours but I enjoy the clear cool fall days. Looking at the once green forest that has now turned into a medley of reds, oranges and yellows, watching as the leaves that have already fallen off the trees skip across the field on the tips of the dancing grass. Every so often I jump out to stretch my legs and to clean the thatch off the mowers, the cool air and nippy wind soon have me retreating to the warmth of the tractor. It doesn’t have a heater but it breaks the wind and the sun does a nice job of heating up the cab. When the sun drops behind the trees and I am under a vast moonlit sky, I always look up hoping that tonight will be the night I catch a glimpse of the northern lights for the first time in what seems to be forever. To say the job of sod farming has grown on me would be a lie, I would still prefer to be at home or to go out with family of friends, but fall is keeping me positive for the days. Sitting in a tractor for long hours isn’t all bad when I can observe the season while listening to Keb’ Mo’ and Dave Matthews… Ah fall.

We'll see just how committed I really am...

I have had just about had enough of the drumming scene. To be honest, I have been overwhelmed by frustration with my drumming for a while and I do not think I can handle much more. I am ready to pack it in. My abilities have plummeted to an all time low. I can not hold a beat anymore, I can not keep a rhythm going, I can not do the things I used to be able to do and I am honestly not having much fun with it anymore. It feels that my skills have peeked and started to decline ever since I stopped taking lessons. I don't have the money to start taking them again and my old teacher moved away. I am so damn sick of playing the wrong techniques and wasting money because of it. Recently I discovered I have been hitting my cymbals the wrong way and now have a 170 dollar piece of shit metal sitting in my basement and I don’t have the drive or the motivation to go buy a new cymbal. I am pissing my money away on something that I feel is not going to take me anywhere. I really do not know how committed I am to this instrument anymore. It’s hard to be encouraged when I am declining in skill. I’m thinking I am going to put the sticks down for a bit and take a break; explore the whole percussion scene a bit more and maybe, if I feel like I have it in me, go back to drumming. I am not giving it up for good; I will still play at church, but my “recreation” drumming… I’m giving that a rest. Maybe with the money I save I can buy something useful, a car perhaps? A device that will take me somewhere.


I have been losing patience gradually with it all and I am pretty much at the end… So, we’ll see how committed I really am to this whole drumming business.

Just a thought on conversation.

I have been doing some thinking about conversation. It seems we feel like we grow closest to friends when we have deep meaningful conversations and I would tend to agree with that, but I feel as if the “meaningless” and “shallow” conversations do not get paid enough respects. I really do not think there is such thing as meaningless conversation and some people may disagree, but I feel that every conversation, however deep or however silly and pointless, is meaningful. Connecting with people on any level is showing love and because of that I find it meaningful. I cherish all types of conversation I have with anyone I know. I would not classify one as better than the other. I enjoy joking, laughing and rambling on about nothing, but I also enjoy sharing my thoughts, my feelings and my heart. I find any type of conversation to bring me closer to my friends and I love conversation, no matter how silly or deep it is.

Just a quick thought.

Simple pleasures... Gotta love 'em.

Before the “training week” for the camp ministry team all the members were asked to fill out a “personality profile”. It was a bunch of questions and from your answers they try to dig into your personality type a little bit. I’ve never thought mine would be so accurate. It was crazy; I don’t remember a lot of what it said about me except for this: “this personality type enjoys life’s simple pleasures. Immediately they looked at me and said in one voice “chocolate milk”. It was a funny thing, but true. I do enjoy something so simple as chocolate milk, but after that I began to look for more of the things I enjoy that I didn’t pay much attention to usually. Since the summer began I’ve noticed so many things that I absolutely enjoy seeing, hearing, doing and possibly consuming. Perhaps you have some simple pleasure from life you enjoy too. It’s a good time, I know for me personally it has helped me look at things in a slightly more positive view.

I’ve noticed, that I love hearing others laugh, I love hearing others sing songs. Watching someone dance no matter how good or bad they are can always bring a smile to my face. I love listening to bird’s sing their songs, I love watching the clouds go by over head and watch as they change shape. I love listening to the wind go through the leaves, I love watching wind sweep through a field and watching the grass (or whatever is growing) dance. I love listening to water on the rocks.
I love when someone shoots me a kind smile or in some rare circumstances shoots the gun or a wink. I enjoy hearing a good story.

There are so many things big and small that I enjoy; it was one discovery I made of myself this summer. Since being home I’ve discovered more. I enjoy exchanging stories with family and friends; I enjoy my own bed in my own house. I enjoy sitting down to a good drink either alone or with a group of family and friends. One thing I discovered just today, on the way to get a slurpee (another pleasure I enjoy) is I enjoy listening to the sound of my dogs paws on the sidewalk as she walks with a springy sort of smooth going trot. Walking is something I hope to keep doing with my ol’ pooch; it will be good for both of us, probably better for me…

I can’t deny I enjoy simple things, but who doesn’t? Maybe you have some simple things you love too, Cherish them.

Shine on…

Summer Experience

Ah, back from a long but quick summer of camp. Three different camps to be exact; Covenant Heights Bible Camp (My personal favorite, but I am bias), Kootenay Covenant Bile Camp, and Covenant Bay Bible Camp. This summer was definitely an interesting one. To say I loved every-single-minute of it would be a lie. To say I didn’t like it would be extremely far from the truth. To say I had mixed feelings while at camp, times of joy and times where I wanted to scream… Possibly like a little girl, but probably not… ANYWHO. I joined this Camp Ministry Team and began to make expectations which were not met. I wasn’t disappointed. I was just, at times, overwhelmed.
Before the whole summer started I was ready for what I thought was going to be a “spiritual mountain top”, a summer to break bad habits, to be strong enough to fight all kinds of temptation. Turns out I thought wrong. Instead, what I got was one tough summer. Fatigue hit me like a rock...A big tired rock. I got a summer of trying to haul ass through temptation while I was at my weakest moments, a summer that surprisingly brought forth a huge lack of confidence. I had no self-control and I was mad at myself for it, I had no judgment. There were times I felt like a total dumb ass and rightfully so. My lack of judgment and self-control lead to many stupid and inappropriate comments leaving my mouth. I missed my home, my parents, my bed I missed everything about home and that seem to bring me a big lack in confidence. I was struggling with a lot of sin, and I couldn’t seem to shake it off. At times I was feeling so overwhelmed and I was, for some strange reason, unwilling and too shy to talk to anyone about it.
However, through all of this, now that I look back, I was learning, I was maturing (though it did not feel like it at the time). I was challenged in many ways especially in patience. I feel that I have become a more patient person through all of this.

One thing that was said stuck with me and will continue to stick with me, it was a thought on the field of ministry and I love it. “It’s easy to give someone a glass of water; it’s hard to give someone a glass of water when we are thirsty.” I find this to be a brilliant thought. To minister to the people at the camps demanded me whether I was feeling fresh and energetic or burdened and tired. Ministry is a hard job, and I discovered that a little more this summer. We need to be willing to be used no matter what state we are in, it’s part of serving Christ, it’s part of being a disciple.

At every camp I went to I was struck by something in someway, whether it was something that was said or an experience I had. One thing I found encouraging was at the camp in Kootenay. The activity was to find a stick or piece of wood and to write a sin on it then we threw the sticks into the river mouth and watched them float out into the lake. It seemed like such a “nursery” thing to do or something so small, but it really encouraged me to fight through the temptations I was experiencing.
Quite possibly my most memorable moment was going to a soup kitchen with some folks from Covenant Bay, the dealio was, 3 groups went on 3 days to a soup kitchen in Wetaskiwin (a small city in Alberta), while there we served the people breakfast, we gave them clothes and then we sat with them and had conversations. The table I happen to sit at was one full of great individuals. It was really hard for me to sit there at one point, not because I was uncomfortable in fact, I was quite comfortable, but while I was there one of the ladies had to give a murder report on her son. Her son was 17 years old and was killed in Edmonton recently before we were there. To watch her struggle through the interview was a difficult sight, but to watch all the people at the table be there and to comfort her was an amazing sight. The community they had among them was one that I believe we should all strive for. They knew each other, they cared for each other. It was eye opening experience, one that reminded me that I am NO better than ANYONE, I bet most of the people there were far nicer and better people than I am. It was an experience that reminded me we are called to love not to fix. We should approach people with love and befriend them, not come to them like we have it all together and they don’t. These people, though most addicts, are good people. They have souls, they have minds, some of them are absolutely brilliant. One man I was blessed to meet was named Tony, he was a great guy. He loved art, he loved to draw and write things for others. His drawings weren’t the best I’ve seen, they were nothing special, but the passion and pride he poured into his art was what made me love it. Simple drawings, Simple quotes but they struck me. He told me that one of the workers at the soup kitchen had bought him oil pastels, he told me he would draw with them all the time and he loved them. He went on to tell me that he had put them in a duffle bag, when he set it down it was stolen from him. This small story, that at sometimes wouldn’t come as a surprise to me almost made me tear up.
He wrote down some verses I should look up, I knew them all and he mixed up the references, but the fact that he was pouring himself into having a faith was encouraging to me. Sure he’s made some bad decisions in his life, but God still loves him and all of them, and so should we.
Another guy there came in limping very badly, turns out he spent the night in the hospital after almost being run over by a gang that went by the name HH (Hobbema Haters). They tried to run him over but he jumped out of the way and they clipped his leg. It was a tough thing to hear. It made me think of how little I and our community do to reach out to these people. We see them as a hindrance, they are people and creations of God, they are beautiful people, and we need to meet them at a face to face level, not a level that makes us look like some “good Samaritan”. We need to love them not fix them.


It was a great summer, I grew, matured and I will always remember this ministry team I had the opportunity to serve on.
It's good to be back
Shine on.

People Change. How Strange.

It's kind of sad that I've only been done grade 12 for about 13 hours and I already don't know what to do with myself. I decided to read through some of my old blogs. I even deleted a couple because I didn’t really like what I said.
It’s weird how much a person can change over a year. I’ve noticed in myself I’ve slowly becoming more accepting towards people. I’ve noticed I have gained some wisdom, and knowledge. Even my beliefs have changed slightly. I have even noticed myself “slipping” in a few areas. I find myself expressing myself with “colourful” words. I’ve noticed I’m no longer bothered by a few words that leave my mouth, and others. I have also noticed that I am watching my mouth less and less; I say choice words that don’t really belong in public.
I’m not saying this is okay, it just caught my attention.
It definitely caught me tonight as I read my blogs. I have changed a lot, my beliefs, my social life, my thought patterns and the way I see things. Though I have slipped in a few areas I think I’ve improved in many. Change can be a bit scrappy at times, but it can also be a good thing. I think I have gone through some sketchy changes and some positive ones.
I will continue to change in many ways over this summer. I will have new experiences with God, friends, family and creation. Perhaps sometime later this year I will be doing the same thing I did tonight. Reading through all my blogs and seeing how much I’ve changed.

It will be a good summer, and I look forward to coming back from it with stories and reflections from everything I experienced.


Have a great summer and Shine on.

****er isn't always a bad word.

Alright, I may be crossing the line with the title of this one but... Yeah. Suffer, It's not a bad word in Christianity. I hear so many teachings and "reflections" from people who say things along the lines of "if you have enough faith and believe, you won't suffer."
Suffering has somehow become a bad word in Christianity. Is it suddenly wrong to think God can't use suffering to teach us something? People seem to think that if we suffer there's a chance we can fall away from our faith. Maybe so, but there is also a chance that our faith can become stronger, and we can come out of the whole experience gaining wisdom. I was recently sitting with my mom while she was watching a program on t.v. called "Living Truth". I happen to like the pastor Charles Price. The program went to the usual praise reports, and other letters that have been sent in, this is usually when I go top up my chocolate milk glass. However, as I was heading out of the living room I happen to hear one of the letters.

"Suffering has become almost a bad word in Christianity. This was not the case for me, I believe God taught me a lot through sickness."

This caught my attention, and got me to thinking.
Why have we come to think of suffering as something bad, a punishment or even something evil? Haven't so many of us suffered in some way or another, and gained a stronger faith from it? Why don't we like to think that God can use suffering of some kind to strengthen us?
Any thoughts?

Be real and shine on.

Good Folks.

I was recently talking to someone at school about putting one of the "up and coming" drummers of S.C.A on the worship team for chapel this year so they can gain some experience and I could give them some advice for next year. That way they might be a little more prepared. Thought it would be a good thing for this person to experience. When I talked to the "worship leader" they said he would not be put up on the team. Why? because this person is marked as "sketchy" or a "bad person". This kind of blew my mind, that we would have the slight level of audacity to flat out call someone a bad person. It's weird that usually all we want to focus on is the bad things people do, and we almost completely ignore the good. Then we mark that person off as sketchy or flat out, "a bad person."
What makes a person bad? It seems if someone gets a bad reputation they can't break it. They're just written off. Jiminy jilickers if people started focusing on the negative things I do, I'd be off this praise and worship team so fast it would make my head spin. I have found myself so many times focusing on the bad, rather than the good and all I have gained from it is bitterness, or an unwillingness to forgive that person. Why do we judge someone else as being a bad person when our flaws are just as big as theirs? Why do we ignore our own flaws and make others flaws look like a great sin?
Perhaps instead of writing these people off as "bad" or "sketchy" people, we should show mercy, grace and maybe even acceptance. We gain nothing from ignoring our own flaws and focusing on someone else and their foibles. I've challenged myself to focus on the good in someone, without completely ignoring the bad, and I have learned a lot. I have friends that people write off as "an angry child", I've found a willing servants heart in those people. I know people that have been written off as "party harders", but they are some of the most understanding people I know. I've learned to respect those people, to not be scared to associate myself with them and pray for them. Not write them off, and hope they get a punch to the face that snaps them straight. After looking for the good in people all I can say is... I know some damn good folks.

DAH!

As school begins to wrap up, and exams only being a week or so away. Summer begins to draw closer and closer, as does my time to leave home for 2 months. Today during lunch discussing fund raising for the summer it finally hit me. This is for real, this is happening now... DAH! Everything has been kicked into high gear. It hit me hard this evening while standing in line for ice-cream with my pops. My dog began to do her unsuccessful howl that makes me smile every time I hear it. I realized I'm going to be leaving my home, my family, my friends behind for 2 months. I am very excited, yet I'm slowly coming undone over it. I am very close to my family so it will be a challenge to leave. This is definitely a "sky dive" out of my comfort zone. This will be a big deal for me, but I'm confident I'll be able to pull it off. I'll be surrounded by good, caring friends. I'll hopefully be easily distracted from my feelings of discomfort. I'm looking forward to this summer, it will be a great learning experience for me. It will be a good time, but until then I just need to keep it together until my exams are done. Easier said than done.

Keep it real and shine on.

Funny The Way It Is.

I have found myself lost in these lyrics since I bought the new Dave Matthews album.

FUNNY THE WAY IT IS

Lying in the park on a beautiful day
The sunshine in the grass
And my children play
Sirens passing fire engine red
Someone's house is burning down
On a day like this

The evening comes and we're hanging out
On a front step and a car goes by
With the windows rolled down
And that war song is playing
Why can't we be friends
Someone is screaming and crying
In the apartment upstairs

Funny the way it is
Make you think about it
Somebodies going hungry
And someone else is eating out
Funny the way it is
Not right or wrong
Somebodies heart is broken
And it becomes your favorite song

The way your mouth feels in your lover's kiss
Like a pretty bird in the breeze
Or water to a fish
The bomb blast brings the building crashing to the floor
Hear the laughter
While the children play war

Funny the way it is
Make you think about it
One kid walks ten miles to school
Another's dropping out
Funny the way it is
Not right or wrong
A soldiers last breath
His babies being born

Standing on a bridge
Watch the water passing underneath
It must have been much harder
When there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small
Compared to how it use to be
With mountains and oceans
And winters and rivers and stars

Funny the way it is
Make you think about it
One kid walks ten miles to school
Another's dropping out
Funny the way it is
Not right or wrong
A soldiers last breath
His babies being born

Funny the way it is
Not right or wrong
Somebodies broken heart
And it becomes your favorite song
Funny the way it is
Make you think about it
One kid walks ten miles to school
Another's dropping out

Standing on a bridge
Watch the water passing underneath
It must have been much harder
When there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small
Compared to how it use to be
With mountains and oceans
And winters and rivers and stars

Can't always try follow the map.

So earlier this year I was really wanting to go to a huge convention called CHIC. It was what I was looking forward to the most for the summer. I had it all mapped out. Graduate, hit up camp, then off to CHIC I go, perfect plan. I was super excited. Then I found out that I wasn't going to be able to go, because I was the one who would have to pay the rest of my Springs tuition off. I was almost crushed. The worst part was I wasn't going to make it up to camp either. Then one evening I was told about the Camp Ministry team. All summer 3 different camps, and money. Sha-bam! Perfect right? I was already late on the application deadline, but it was extended. Yes! So I got my application in as fast as I could. About two or so weeks later, so today, was my interview. I got the job. WOW! I had a huge eye opener today. I had my summer all mapped out. I was excited to do all that. I had my perfect "grad summer" planned out. When the plan hit the fan (rhymes with Jigganaut) I was mad, not frustrated. I was straight up mad. However, my eyes were opened today to the fact that God may have different plans than we have. Not saying that CHIC wouldn't be a life changing experience, but who is to say I won't get to go in a couple years as a leader? Maybe God has that in a later plan.

I am beyond excited to spend the summer making good friendships, and growing deeper with the friends I already have. It's going to be a packed summer, but I do feel called to this experience. It will teach me lots. I'm hoping to come out of this summer, being changed.
Sometimes we all need a good eye opener. I another one today. Sometimes it's good to drop the maps and just go on an adventure.
"Enjoy life and take the Lord along for the ride."


Keep on ya'll.

Joy? How you doin'? It's been a while.

This week has, so far, been a very interesting week for me. Monday I came back from Jr. High Rise, a fantastic youth retreat with great memories. The ride home from Norquay was one filled with an abundance of laughter and thought provoking conversation. It was a lovely addition to the fantastic weekend. Tuesday was the dreaded back to school day. I was not looking forward to the hustle and bustle of school days. I was going to miss all my friends from different parts of the country. I was going to miss the great times we had. However, I was eager to get back to all my friends back home. To tell them stories, make them laugh and have some more great times with all my good friends in Winnipeg. I was not disappointed. My friends were, once again, there to listen to my ramblings of the weekend. I appreciated it, after all, I do love telling stories. One thing I've noticed since being back is a subtle change in me. For example, I have noticed I have been saying less negative things and replaced them with positive things. I do not know if anyone else has noticed, or if I am totally deceived, and I'm no different. I personally think I am improving though. I've even found myself smiling a lot more. Corny as it may sound, it feels real swell. I feel joy slowly slipping back into my life. I was definitely in a rough spot of bitterness for a while after being hurt by a once close friend. Crazy thing to me is, I have since talked to this friend during the week. This time with no feelings of anger, bitterness and with no gawky experiences. The conversations obviously aren't smooth flowing as they used to be, but I have found myself able to smile, and give it the "fat kid" chuckle in this persons presence which happens to be a big improvement for me. Forgiveness found its way into me again.
All in all, the joy I saw over the weekend has began to rub off on me. It's feeling good. Even though I can't get over how much I miss the times of joy I experience at the retreat, Joy is still working in me. Joy is still rubbing off on me from all my friend at home. I appreciate both "groups" of friends equally, and love the times of delight with them. It's good to have a feeling of good ol' cheer coming back into my life.

I appreciate all my friends, and the times of glee (love that word) I share with all them. Thank-you to ALL my friends.
Be well and shine on ya'll.

It's been a long day, it's been a good day.

Home from a long weekend, that flew by faster than I would have liked. As I look back on the weekend, all I have do is breathe a big sigh of satisfaction. The days were the perfect. They felt long until you are getting into bed wondering where the time went. They were days of laughter with good people, good conversation, and of reflection. They were days of feeling refreshed. Days full of great times with great people. Days that I will remember for a long time. I miss it already. I miss the good ol' circle of conversation, people telling stories, jokes and laughter. I miss the easy going pace of the days. It was nice to get away from all the stress. Only to return to the stress after 5 short days. But with a difference. The feeling of refreshment hasn't left. Throughout the weekend bitterness, feelings of resentment and the stubbornness to forgive left. In a way that was either so fast, or way to gradual for me to notice. I just felt my easy going character slowly start to come back. Or as I recently said to a friend, "I finally crawled back on to my floaty device that took me where the flow went. I'm not longer trying to fight the current. I'm no longer stressing over the little things. I'm finally back on my floaty device, lovin' the ride." Sounds like a ridiculous way of putting it eh? Well, that's because it is, but I must say, it feels real darn good.
The realization of this came when before falling asleep a name popped into my head, a name that usually is accompanied with hard feelings and bitterness. This time it was just the name, followed with the question. "gee, I wonder how they're doing lately."
I miss the times of joy, the times of silence, times of reflection and the times of interaction with lovable people. But those kinds of time won't stop there. Times like that will continue now that I am back home. The feeling of release is a good one too. The good times are great memories, but the refreshment is still a present feeling. For that I am grateful.

A short Thought.

Truly the richest among us are the ones rich in the spirit.

Don't know where I heard that, or if I came up with it... I doubt I did though.
Thoughts about it?

Forgiving...

As I was sitting on my computer this evening listening to some music, not thinking about nothing important... if anything at all. I happened to start listening to a song that got me to thinking about my life as it is in the present and how it has been in the past. The lyrics that stood out to me in this song were simple, possibly on the "emo" side, but maybe not.
"Cause I've started falling apart I’m not savoring life I have forgotten how good it could be to feel alive."

These words caused me really reflect. I don't think the song has anything to do with what I was thinking about, but this is how it hit me. These lines got me thinking about my life in the present. Lately I find myself having little patience and at times, none at all. I find myself being very short tempered, snapping at folks for just being themselves. I have been quite the "negative ninny" to put it in a nice way. This way of acting didn't really strike me until I was called an "asshole" and a "Jerk" on many occasions.
The thing is, I definitely have not always been this way. Even earlier this year I was an easy going person, didn't let a lot of small things get to me, and I definitely had patience. I was an inviting person, I felt people enjoyed to be around me. Lately the whole "inviting person" as been circling the drain.
I just blamed all these problems of mine on challenges and tough times this year. Recently I had a change of thought. A thought that these problems I've been having with patience and what not isn't because of rough times. It's because of my own stubbornness to forgive. It's because my own resentment towards some people.
The lyrics hit me because slowly I've found all my positive qualities fading. I've began to once again hide my true feelings in a shell. I've become less social, and a lot less patient. I've started feeling like I don't enjoy life in general. I have started to forget how good it feels to be the person everyone feels welcome around.
One evening I had this sudden thought of a persons name, along with the thought of forgiveness. coincidence? Definitely not. I started thinking about this person... At one point me and this individual were very close friends, then the whole friendship went down the drain and ended on very lousy terms. I was hurt, and began to show a strong distaste for this person. I held my hurt and garbage feelings against this person, as if it was their fault. I did not realize how much it ended up affecting me.
I find myself struggling with my resentment towards this person and my stubbornness to forgive this person. I have been finally allowing God to work in me again, and with His help I have began to break these hard feelings. It is not easy, but how sweet it will be to be free from this bitterness, this stubbornness, this lack of patience. How sweet it will be to finally be the kind of person that welcomes people.
How sweet it will be to begin to feel "alive" again, to enjoy life once again, to not feel like my good qualities are about to be flushed.

"Enjoy life and take the LORD along for the ride"(perfect quote!)

The Gloves Are Off Now.

Alright, I usually don't stand up against a teaching that I hear so often, but I have had just about enough of one teaching that is being shoved down my throat. I hear it so much in my schools teaching, and through many big name pastors who I happen not to agree with. The soft "happy go lucky", "you can have what ever you want, "think positive and you will prosper" gospels. This post may be very controversial if more than one person actually reads this. I do not agree with this teaching at all. I don't recall anywhere in the Bible where it says "You can have anything you want."
Yes, the Bible does speak of blessings, but I do not think getting a blessing means getting anything you want. These days I hear so much of this teaching and frankly, I don't like it. I recently read an article by Dave Daubenmire talking about this same thing. Here's some of the questions he asked:
-Does the Gospel of the Kingdom apply to all people in all places?

-Should the gospel preached from any pulpit, regardless of where you live, be applicable to any other Christian regardless of where he/she lives?

- Does God have one gospel for America and another gospel for the underground church in China?

He goes on to talk about how North Americans seem to have one version of the gospel, that may not "apply" in other countries.

"The Gospel of the Kingdom is a life-changing, world-altering, gospel. Today it has become nothing more than a marketing technique designed to give you all the things those in the world desire, only sanctified as “blessings” of one’s Christianity."

I find this little paragraph to be so true. So much of the teaching I hear is summed up by this. It is a gospel that says I will be given all the things I want through blessings. It is a "get rich quick" form of the gospel. A "motivational book" that promises success and all the desires we want.

"Turn on Christian radio and listen to the “gospel.” Settle in front of your TV with a bowl of popcorn and embark on a Trinity Broadcasting Network marathon and watch the Humanistic gospel that is reflected off of the satellite. No longer is a sin-hating, turn from your wicked ways, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God gospel being trumpeted, but a worldly, pop-psychology, Jesus is an ATM in the Sky, life-enhancement, seeker-friendly, do not judge or offend gospel is being dished out. It hasn’t always been this way."

This is yet another statement I find to be true in the teaching I am hearing today. The teaching that seems to be popular is more of a motivational speech, rather than a gospel that gives the cold hard truths.

This is where it gets intense for me. Daubermire talks of a lunch he had with a South African missionary who was visiting Ohio. What the Missionary said to him blows my mind.
"Please do not send anymore missionaries to my country. The American gospel is making our job harder. When financial blessings and prosperity fail to come to our people it is hard to open their hearts back up to receive the life-changing Gospel of the Kingdom. Please keep your version of the gospel in America."

That statement blows my mind. That someone would ask for missionaries not to be sent to a place in need because of what they preach. I don't really know what my reaction would be if, lets say, I was an orphan, and I had to find my own food, and was poor, and someone is telling me I can have what ever I want, that I will prosper.
To me I don't think just because we are Christians we will all be prosper, and be successful. Some people may live a devoted life to Christ and suffer all their life. I can't imagine what goes through the head of a persecuted Christian when they might hear these teachings.
"The American gospel is a humanistic, man centered, “meet my needs” gospel, designed to enhance one’s earthly life, not transform it."

I find this to be a good point. We have a "man centered gospel." A gospel that preaches our personal gain. Sure we can preach about meeting the needs of the poor, which is important, but we seem to have twisted giving to the poor as simply another way for us to meet some more of our "needs". We hear ways to make our lives seem a little better. We rarely hear a life changing, foundation shaking teaching.

"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." I John 2:15-16.
"Is it possible that the American gospel is creating enemies of God by catering to the flesh?"
Is it really possible? Are we just preaching a gospel that is pleasing to our flesh? The answer could very well be yes. Our flesh seems to long for this personal gain. It longs for the riches that the world can offer, and I hear so much teaching on gaining these riches. I hear so much about how we can prosper and gain in the WORLD. Is this teaching from GOD, or is it a distorted teaching of the world?

I want to end with one thing that stuck with me from this article:
"The gospel has not changed, only the presentation of it has. Look at this list of top selling Christian books. I wonder how many persecuted Christians in Iran are buying them. The American-gospel is no gospel at all."-Dave Daubenmire.



Any thoughts?

Respect ya'll.

These days I find myself having a deep respect for the type of person who can treat everyone with the same respect. The type of person who is kind to everyone. This is the kind of person I find myself trying to be. However, I fail dreadfully. I find myself trying to hang around these type of people, hoping they will begin to rub off on me. I think we need these type of people around us. It's these type of people who make others feel welcome, and maybe even make them feel good. It's these type of people that keep assholes like me in line.
I try harder to find people that kind to everyone, then I try to imitate their actions in one way or another. I get so damn sick of the way I find myself and many others treating people. To be honest I get down right pissed at myself when I look back and begin to think about how I treated someone.
Changing the way you treat others is much easier said than done, but it is one of those things we all have to keep trying to change if we want to see any different actions from ourselves.
I encourage everyone to challenge themselves to treat everyone equally.
"Enjoy life and take the Lord along for the ride"-Alva Sample
God Bless.

It is time to take seriously, the seriousness of the cross.

Throughout this Easter one thing that is been standing out to me, or impacting me the most is the seriousness of the Cross. So many times I find myself looking at the Cross and thinking almost nothing of it. When I realized this it was a shocker for myself. It seems like the Cross was just "the norm" for me. I see it so often. However, lately when I look at a Cross I see something much deeper. Something that was said today during the Good Friday service at my church stood out to me. Gavin was talking about the story of Easter, and what it is about. Is it about a weak man who was rolled over by the weight of the world? Is it about an unimportant man who got in the way of those who were more important? Is it about a religious or political leader who kicked up trouble? Is it, as Dave Matthews said, a story of an amazing man who got screwed? Or is it the story of the Son of GOD, who came to save us all? This was the thing that hit me the hardest today. Not because I found out Dave Matthews can be quoted in Church, but because it helped me realize part of what I am missing when I look at the Cross. I started thinking of the cross a lot before today, now it's the main topic in my mind. I almost can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about the Son of GOD, the ONLY Son of GOD, who came to save us. The Son of GOD who came to be our Savior. He befriended those who were cast out, he healed the sick, He saved us, the sinners. This could not be done by a weak man, an unimportant man, a religious of political leader, or even an amazing man. This action, this punishment of taking all sin on himself and being crucified for all man. This can only be done by the Son of GOD.
So, What do you see when you look at the Cross?
It is my encouragement to everyone, to look at the Cross and reflect on what was done for us, and who did it.
May the Cross not be something normal to us, but instead, be a significant part of our faith that causes us to give thanks and to think.

Show me your muddy palms

Not too long ago a group of folks from church went away to Haiti to help build a medical clinic. Last week they played a slide show of pictures from that trip during that slide show the song Muddy Palms by Del Barber was playing in the background. First of all I love the song so that caught me right away, so I enjoyed the slide show. Now, this week at during the service Cody (the guy that made the slide show) told the story, of why he chose that song. in the song Muddy Palms there is a line repeated. "show me your scars, show me your muddy palms." Another part in the song says "Don't you get tired of hiding yourself?"
In his story he talked about the first morning he was there. He said he woke up early in the morning to a woman belting a song at the top of her lungs. It wasn't even the whole song, it was just the same line again and again for over an hour. He thought about if this would happen in Winnipeg. If someone was yelling the same line over and over early in the morning someone would tell that person to shut-up. However, the people in Haiti just let this woman be. He said later that night he told the guide type person about this lady. He sang the line that the lady was singing over and over. The Guide (who is also the doctor of the clinic they were helping to build) kind of gave a half laugh and said "that lady was mourning. She lost her child. That's how she mourns, she cries that song."
What does this have to do with the song Muddy Palms? This lady who was mourning was showing her scars, she was showing her muddy palms. She was not hiding any part of herself, she was showing a honesty that is hard to find these days.
Why did this story hit me so much? So many times we all (myself included) put up these walls, and we aren't fully honest with anyone, or with ourselves, or even with God. Why do we try hide ourselves from everyone and from God? God is our forgiver He is our father, why should we not be totally honest with Him? Why don't we show God our scars? Why don't we show God our muddy palms? Why do we try hide ourselves from God? We know that He sees everything and knows everything, yet we still try hide.
We went through some passages in the book of Mark, two stories really stuck out to me.
First was the passage of the rich man in Mark 10:17-23. He asks Jesus "what must I do to inherit the kingdom of heaven. Jesus replies "Do not Murder, do not commit adultery, do not give false testimony and honor your father and mother."
The rich man said "all these I have kept since I was young."
It says Jesus looked and him and loved him, and said "one thing you lack, go sell all you have and give it to the poor. You will have treasure in Heaven, then come and follow me."
The thing that stuck with me, once it was read again was "Jesus looked at him, and loved him." Jesus can see everything in us, he can see all our sins, all our imperfections and all our problems. Yet He still loves us, and that to me is a humbling thought.
The second passage is in Mark 12:41-44. The story of the widows offering. It says Jesus sat in the temple across from where people were placing their offering, many people put in large amounts of money, but then a poor widow put in two copper coins worth a fraction of a penny. It says Jesus told his Disciples that the widow, gave the more than anyone. Everyone gave out their wealth, but she gave everything she had to live on. This hit me big time. The widow gave EVERYTHING she had, so many times we all just give what we want, or what we feel like. This widow was not ashamed to show her scars, to show her muddy palms. She was hiding nothing from God, and gave Him her all.
It is my encouragement for us to all stop Hiding ourselves from God, and to be honest with Him, show Him our scars and our muddy palms. He will look on us with compassion and love.
God bless

A tough moment.

I was very recently talking to a friend and they asked a... Well, a very random question. "If you could have one more moment with anyone in the world who would it be?" This was a tough thought to choke down, after my grandma only passed away 5 months ago. It got me thinking about what it would have been like if I could have had one more moment with my grandma. How many regrets would I not have right now? In one more moment I could apologize for not seeing her enough, because of my fears. I could thank her for waiting for me all the time. I could say good bye one more time. This question made me think, even though I have so many regrets about ways I was selfish towards my grandma, she knew I loved her, and I know she loved me. I just have to use these regrets as learning experiences. That way when I'm in a similar situation, I will learn from past mistakes.
I think we all need to use our past regrets as tools to learn. As hard as it may be some times, we just need to buck-up and not let our past mistakes happen again.

God Bless.

That was Terrific!

I was talking to an old friend, they haven't gone to Springs since grade 5, and I've kept in touch with them over msn, and Facebook(the hero of the internet). Anyway, I have been once again been feeling weighted with people at school being stupid. I asked this person what they thought of drinking and being drunk. I was extremely excited and refreshed when I found out that this person thought it was stupid. It was just so terrific to hear that someone who is openly exposed to that life style in their school, could have the wisdom and conscience not to do it. Yet people who claim to be a higher example do it on a regular basis... Once again I say, Mean what you say, and if you say you love God, act like it!

I encourage everyone to accept the call to be an example to everyone.
God Bless

I know it's cliché but Praise the Lord!

I have a thing for constantly going on myspace and checking out bands songs so I can get a feel for the sound. Usually I only check out bands that I am unfamiliar with, however, recently I went on to the Almost's myspace. I really dig this band and they haven't shown any signs of a new album... Or so I thought. Well Aaron Gillespie is at it again. He has a new album on the way. Usually a song written to appeal to the secular crowd don't catch me in the way that a praise and worship song would, but one of The Almost's new songs did. This songs lyrics definitely caught me off guard. I definitely was blown away by them.


Life has given me the comfort
i need you to make me weak
i have made my work my own, I've made it my own
and I've maybe been so alone

I can't stop this praise from moving
in an awful direction, Lord
I can't stop this hands from doing
but I don't want to anymore

I've been wrong, I've been right
but tonight I just wanna be yours

I'm planning this out to be all about me
I am broken, help me

i can't stop this praise from moving
in an awful direction, Lord
I can't stop this hands from doing
but I don't want to anymore

I've been wrong, I've been right
but tonight I just wanna be yours


I've got to let go of all this
cause it's dragging me down now.

I find myself in this position so many times. I find my self crediting my talents and skills all to myself, I find myself praising myself for what I have accomplished, I find myself doing the same things I don't like doing. So many times I focus on ME, and I find myself not searching, focusing, and praising God. I think this is something everyone struggles with. We try to get praise for what we have accomplished, or for our talents, and abilities. We focus on ourselves. Instead of focusing and crediting God.
I love the line "I've got to let go of all this, 'cause it's dragging me down now." I find myself thinking this same thing so often. We all have things we need to let go of so we can just focus on God. We need to let go of our own selfish ambition for praise, and our need to be first, we all need to let go of the sins we keep committing and just allow ourselves to be used by God.
Maybe I'm totally missing the meaning of this song, I don't know for sure, these are just my reflections on this particular song.
I encourage everyone to let go of their pride and desire for praise, and just give God the glory for our talents, and abilities.

Enjoy life and take the Lord along for the ride and be blessed.

Letting go.

Lately I've been thinking about following God's path for my life. I have had some confusing talks with friends, some that leave me feeling refreshed and relieved, others that make my mind run at 100 miles an hour (hard to believe I know). One thing I have been thinking about is, the times when we need to give something up in order to follow the plan God has for us. Giving something up didn't sound too hard to me. I've given things up before. Well, sometimes the thing we need to give up isn't easy and sometimes it's something we want to hold on to. There are times where what we want to hold on to the most are the things that are holding us back. Following God was never promised to be easy, and the life of a servant for Christ was never a walk in the park. Something I've known for a long time, but never really thought about. Sometimes we need to do something that feels impossible to follow God with everything. There are things that we love so much that we never want to let go, but God may have other plans for us.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2.
This is the verse that comes to my mind when I think of this topic. Maybe the things we are holding on to, are the very things that are interfering with us totally following God. We need to just look to God, hold on to Him and let go of the things that are blocking us from living for God with everything we are.
It is my encouragement to everyone, that we find the things holding us back, fix our eyes on God and throw off everything that hinders us.
"Enjoy life and take the Lord along for the ride!"-Alva Sample