I have had just about had enough of the drumming scene. To be honest, I have been overwhelmed by frustration with my drumming for a while and I do not think I can handle much more. I am ready to pack it in. My abilities have plummeted to an all time low. I can not hold a beat anymore, I can not keep a rhythm going, I can not do the things I used to be able to do and I am honestly not having much fun with it anymore. It feels that my skills have peeked and started to decline ever since I stopped taking lessons. I don't have the money to start taking them again and my old teacher moved away. I am so damn sick of playing the wrong techniques and wasting money because of it. Recently I discovered I have been hitting my cymbals the wrong way and now have a 170 dollar piece of shit metal sitting in my basement and I don’t have the drive or the motivation to go buy a new cymbal. I am pissing my money away on something that I feel is not going to take me anywhere. I really do not know how committed I am to this instrument anymore. It’s hard to be encouraged when I am declining in skill. I’m thinking I am going to put the sticks down for a bit and take a break; explore the whole percussion scene a bit more and maybe, if I feel like I have it in me, go back to drumming. I am not giving it up for good; I will still play at church, but my “recreation” drumming… I’m giving that a rest. Maybe with the money I save I can buy something useful, a car perhaps? A device that will take me somewhere.
I have been losing patience gradually with it all and I am pretty much at the end… So, we’ll see how committed I really am to this whole drumming business.
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