What to do with all this time...

The sod season has been over for about a month now(for me anyway) and I am currently between jobs, that is the nice way to put “I’m a jobless bum that lazes around home all day.” I have applied at some places with unsuccessful results. In all honesty I should be applying at way more places than I have been, but my thinking is if I’m trying to find a job that I actually keep for a while I would rather it be something that I enjoy and not something I dread. I would sooner make less money doing something I find fun than making lots of money and dreading the work I do. For now, I will keep looking for jobs I may enjoy doing and hope I score huge and find one.
Anyway, in my time at home I usually find myself alone, after all everyone else in my family is doing something productive with themselves, in all this time I aim to be productive. This is not usually the case. I will admit that between practicing my drumming and maybe taking the pooch for a stroll I usually find myself filling my time with mindless unproductive activities. But with all this time I have managed to get some thinking down, it may not sound all that productive to others because my thinking isn’t helping with anything, but my thinking isn’t always centered around what show is on next, or how stupid that person’s status update is on Facebook, or whose CD I should buy next (a Tom Petty cd is a strong candidate though). Instead, I have found myself thinking about my faith and what I believe about Christianity. So many times I have found myself in a place of struggling with what I actually believe.
My faith is something I have been struggling with and questioning for a very long time. I have not been questioning whether or not I am a Christian or if I believe in God, but I question what I believe about it, just like everyone else. I fought through this during high school. I was being exposed to many VERY different teachings, teachings from school, home, church and friends. I found my self in a place of confusion. I didn’t know where I stood in all this, what I agreed with and what I did not.
I still have questions and plenty of them. Though I still have a lot of questions and I am still struggling through seemingly endless junk, I honestly believe that I have matured in my faith, though to some it may look like I have almost taken a step backwards. I still do not have a strong feeling of where I stand or what I believe about faith but I am excited to continue digging and learning new things about Christianity and about myself.

This is a pretty vague and general post of what I am feeling like, but it is as specific as I am going to be for now.